Strahd (strahd13) wrote,

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I am Atlas, woe is me

Everything is resting on these tiny shoulders of mine and my legs are starting to quiver and the sweat is dripping down my forehead into my eyes. I feel like I'm about to drop everything and be crushed by things I brought onto myself.

- working at Wal-Mart and going nowhere
- taking care of a girlfriend that has a troubled past and holds things back
- taking care of above mentioned girlfriends baby and trying to be a dad when I just finished being a boy
- stressing about these computer classes and if they will really matter in the end
- making just enough money to torture myself
- trying to write a comic that I can't fully invest my time into (arrh!)

I don't understand the workings of life. All around me I see bad people being happy and succeeding while I and others like me get knocked around and have our dreams/ hopes crushed before our eyes. I get so aggravated at the time and sweat I put into my job. I know that I have chosen this and I continue to abuse myself by not looking for something better but I only have 2 arms and legs and 24 hours a day to make everything happen.

Disneyland where are you? I need your help!

Lately I've been buying things to make me happy/forgetful. For a few days I forget that little list I made at the start of this entry but then blamo it all comes back 10 times worse.

I finally had a nightmare a few days's been months since I had one. I need these babies to help me write so keep'em coming Mr. Sandman.
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You could just not sleep anymore. Think about it... all that extra time. You'd definitely get some good hallucination driven story ideas from it after a week or so. :)

Don't let yourself get overwhelmed by it all. Sure, you've got some commitments and some big things on your plate, but you can't focus on that. You're always going to have commitments and problems that make it hard to do what you want to do. The only time you don't have that in life is when you're a kid, and most people are too oblivious to take advantage of that time.

Make time for something recreational or relaxing. If you want to work on some writing but can't find the time, and it's pissing you off, you have to make time for it or you're just going to start getting angry or depressed. Make time for the things that you want to do... think about what you're doing day to do and try to imagine thinking back to that day a year ahead in the future and think about whether or not you'll think you should have been spending your time doing something else. That's usually a good sign of what you should be doing.

Don't live your whole life making obligations to other people and other things that you don't have enough time to make yourself happy.